You Ain't All That And A Bowl Of Noodles
by shan-chan2
Summary: Does Duo have an insane master plan to win Heero...or is he just nuts...?


**Warnings:** ooooh, a story with warnings… Just a few little pairings, yaoi of course. Just the usuals, 1x2 ans 3x4, poor wuffles hardly ever gets some does he? 

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gundam wing (Yet! J/k) and luckily for you people I probably never will. 

**YOU 'AINT ALL THAT AND A BOWL OF NOODLES. ** By Shan-Chan 

(Following Wufei) 

It was a quiet day, Wufei sighed as he stared out of the window at his most prized possession; Nataku. This was his everyday ritual; he got up, gazed, ate, gazed, meditated, gazed and slept, while dreaming of Nataku. Some times though, his ritual would change, some of the things that got put into the ritual were: be terrorized by Maxwell, Threaten Maxwell and watch his one true love Sally 'man' Po. Wufei once stumbled upon the fact that sally was a man. But he didn't care, he was still in love with her…err… him. He sighed yet again and decided to go and get something to eat, well his stomach decided. He got up and walked to the kitchen. Trowa was sitting at the table, reading a book, while Quatre was trying to engage him in a conversation about the new plant he wanted to put in the garden. He approached the fridge and opened the door. For once he wasn't hit in the face with some object that Maxwell thought would be suitable to cake him with. Come to think of it, it was fairly quiet. "Where's Maxwell?" Wufei demanded. He glared at the other two pilots as they (well Quatre) talked away. "Did you not hear me over Winners constant babble Barton? Where's Maxwell?" A small but very noticeable snore drifted in Wufei's general Direction. 'He's finally done it' Wufei thought to himself. 'Winner has finally bored Barton to sleep' Quatre, un aware of the fact that his beloved Trowa was sleeping, kept talking. Wufei shrugged and decided there was nothing good in the fridge that was worth eating. He went to the cupboard and pulled out a small bowl of instant noodles. Quatre finally noticed him. "Hi Wufei!" he smiled cheerfully. Wufei nodded. Showing that he had heard him. "I have to go shopping soon, that's why there is no food" Quatre continued to smile. "Do you ever get tired of smiling winner?" Wufei asked, he pressed the button on the kettle and waited for it to boil. "No actually I don't, it uses more muscles to frown than it does to smile" "Weakling…" Wufei snorted. He turned around to look at the kettle. "Do you know the whole time you have been talking, Barton has been sleeping?" To emphasize the fact that it was true, the book fell from Trowa's nimble hand only to land on the floor. "Um, no actually I didn't" Quatre smiled again. "I was wondering why he was reading the same two pages over and over…" "Weakling blonde…" The kettle boiled and Wufei went about making his noodles. He looked back at Quatre who was absent-mindedly wiping up Trowa's drool with a handkerchief. "Dumb Weakling blonde…" Wufei muttered to himself. He poured the water into the noodles and turned back around. He came face to face with Heero Yuy, Perfect Soldier. "You know Wufei, you 'aint all that and a bowl of instant noodles" Heero glared in Wufei's general direction. "Excuse me?" Wufei coughed glaring back at Heero. A small thought caught in Wufei's mind. 'Did Heero Yuy just make a joke… no, I am imagining things'. "I said 'you 'aint all that and a bowl of instant noodles', don't make me repeat myself again" Wufei sweat dropped, looking down at the smaller pilot. "And what does that mean?" Wufei asked. "You are dumber than you look…" Heero replied. He turned to walk away. "Yuy! Get back here and tell me this instant! KISAMA!" "Figure it out…" Heero growled. He obviously hated being called a kisama, almost as much as he hated being called Hee-chan. Wufei turned around and started to stubbornly chew his noodles. (Almost in the fashion of the late Hikaru Amano from Martian Successor: Nadesico when she was chewing her Fish Stick.) Maybe something was wrong… Heero didn't look too normal today… there was something about his eyes… 

(Following Trowa) 

Trowa woke up and was soon confronted by a pair of huge aqua marine eyes. Of course he knew who they belonged to. "Oh Trowa! You're awake!" Quatre cried cheerfully. Trowa gave Quatre a small smile that complimented his dreamy bedroom eyes. Come to think of it, he was in a bedroom. But how he got there he would never know. "You know Trowa, I really like it when you smile, you look so cute" Trowa stared with disbelief at the blonde boy sitting beside him. 'Did he just say that?' Trowa asked himself. "Do I?" Trowa replied dumbly. "Yeah, you do" Quatre replied, his eyes closing slightly. 'This can't be happening' Trowa thought to himself as he leant in a little closer to Quatre. "Trowa… is it okay if I do something to you?" Quatre asked. "depends what it is…" Trowa replied, his voice becoming a low husky whisper. "This" Quatre replied. His lips brushed softly against Trowa's, he could feel a small spark of electricity run over his lips as Trowa ran his tongue around them. "You don't know how much I have wanted this…" Trowa mumbled into Quatre's mouth. "You don't know how much I have wanted you…." Quatre replied. Trowa let a small moan escape his lips; Quatre took the opportunity to slip his tongue in. Trowa's hands went to Quatre's shirt and started to pull at the bottom if it, releasing it from the confines of his pants. Trowa's actions stopped as he heard the door creek open. He looked over at the figure standing in the door. He was greeted with huge violet eyes and a stunned look. "Duo?" Trowa spat out. Duo dropped the mobile phone that was currently ringing and stared. "I… I… I… um, I brought you your phone Trowa!" Duo yelled before bolting from the room, screaming obscenities. Trowa sighed and walked over to the door to retrieve the phone. Trowa answered it. "You ain't all that…" came the voice from the other end. "Excuse me?" Trowa spluttered. "You ain't all that and a bowl of instant noodles" "Is that you Heero?" Trowa asked. The other end of the phone went dead. "That was so weird" Trowa muttered to himself, hanging up the phone. He turned around and looked at Quatre. "Trowa, come back over here please?" "Sorry Koi, that phone conversation put me out of the mood, maybe later." Quatre sighed his disappointment and walked over to Trowa. "It's okay" Quatre sighed. "Hmmm… I guess so," Trowa lent down to place a small kiss on Quatre's nose. "Besides, I have some stuff to do, like plant that new plant I was telling you about earlier!" Quatre's eyes went all large and watery at the thought of planting his new plant. Trowa sighed and rolled his eyes. 

(Following Duo) 

Duo laughed evilly to himself. Now he knew that he would get the last laugh, since the others were too dumb to realize that 'Heero Yuy' didn't fall owner to a 3ft long braid. What was the deal you ask? Well, I won't say just yet… 

(Following Quatre) 

Quatre hummed to himself as he prepared the hole for his beloved plant. He was finally happy, not only was he planting his plant but some how he had also managed to secure himself a relationship with the one he loved. He was humming a happy tune that Trowa had taught him when he first came to stay. "Oh, it is starting to get hot!" Quatre exclaimed to himself. He rolled up his sleeves and went back to work. He had just finished putting his plant in when he spied Heero walking past. "Hey Heero, how are you?" Quatre asked. "Happy" Heero replied. "Okay!" Quatre smiled. "Quatre…" "Yes?" "Why do you smile so much?" "Because I am happy!" "Do you know that you ain't all that and a bowl of instant noodles?" "Um, I don't think so" "Well now you know." "Okay" With those last words Heero walked away. "Is it me or does he get weirder and weirder by the day?" Quatre asked himself. He shrugged and went back to work. 

(Following Heero) 

"hmphhmr! Druph! Ofrm ohh kofoshu!" ("Help! Duo! Omae wo korosu") "Qufffaaah!" ("Quatre!") "Wuffreeh?" ("Wufei?") "frrrrwooowwa?" ("Trowa?") Heero was gagged and tied to a chair in the middle of his room. Can you guess who did that? Well if you can't then I wont tell you. 

(Following Relena) 

"HEEEERRRROO!" Relena squealed as she spied Heero walking along the footpath. Heero stopped and looked at her. "Hello Relena…" Heero replied. 'Ohmigod! He said hello to me!' Relena thought to herself. "H… Hello Heero" "How are you?" "Good, but tell me something Heero; why are you being so nice to me?" "Because I am happy" "Happy?" "Yes, happy, because I have finally found out that I am gay, and that I want a relationship with Duo Maxwell" Relena's hand flew to her mouth with surprise. "Oh, and I also came to kill you" "Oh nooooo!" Relena cried. But it was too late; the bullet struck her in between the eyes. "You never were all that and a bowl of instant noodles…" Heero sighed as he walked away, leaving a mass of mortified people all staring at him. He turned back around and glared. "BOO!" he yelled. All the people screamed and ran away, leaving Heero giggling to himself. 

(Following Duo) 

"And finally I am rid of the one burden that has been plaguing me for a long long time! Relena Peacecraft is gone!" Duo giggled furiously, h was now locked in Heero's room, looking right at the helpless Perfect soldier. "Wrff hrph noy drrrnfm froo herfff?" Heero asked. ("What have you done to her") "Oh, the usual, you know, shot her between the eyes" Heero sat there in silence while Duo waited for a reply. "Gruff jrrrb" Heero's eyes smiled. ("Good job") "Really you think so?" Duo asked, his eyes going large and watery. After all, it wasn't everyday he got recognition from the one he loved… Duo went behind Heero and undid the gag that was stopping him from speaking. "I always wanted to do that to her…" Duo sighed as he looked at Heero. "So have i…" Heero replied in his usual monotonous tone. Duo then also undid the restraints binding Heero to the chair. "It was really funny too, 'cos all the people were looking at me, and they were all scared, so I just said 'BOO!' and they all ran away screaming!" Duo gave a short explanation of the aftermath. "You amaze me sometimes Duo…" Heero sighed as he stood up. He picked Duo up with him. "What?" Duo asked. "I said you amaze me, in every single way, like the way you move, and the way your body works… and the way your lips…" Heero never got to finish the sentence he was cut off by the feel of lips upon his own. "Oh Heero" Duo breathed. "Duo…" and then they kissed, which led to a lot more then just kissing that night. 

(Following Heero) 

"Heero, what is this you keep saying!" Wufei yelled in Heero's ear. "I don't know what you are talking about Chang…" Heero replied. "Heero, are you on happy pills?" Quatre asked. "no" "Heero, where's Duo?" Trowa asked. "he is asleep in bed" "he has been sleeping for 2 days?" Wufei asked. "no, he was awake yesterday, he was walking around talking to you all… I was tied up" "Tied up?" All three chorused. "yes, now would you all explain what was happening while I was restrained yesterday" Wufei was the first to click. "that's why his eyes looked so funny…" then Quatre. "and I thought he was a little too happy" Duo chose that moment to walk in. "DUO!" All four of them yelled. It was obvious that Duo had posed as Heero now, just to get what he wanted. "What?" Duo smiled his most innocent smile and awaited the punishment that was about to unfold. 

OWARI 

There not as good as Blonde Arabs are Bad though, but I guess it is okay… Please R&R! 

luv Shan-chan 


End file.
